Monday, 27 April 2020

Hold on to Hope


When loss seems all encompassing
And the way ahead feels blocked,
Do not let fear or grief overwhelm you.
Push fear away.
Say to yourself that it has no place here.
For fear clouds judgement.
Pain blocks out right vision.
Tears can drain you or be a release.
Look for the tiniest speck of goodness in this moment.
Remember who you are inside yourself
Despite the suffering.
Keep trusting that things can change
However slowly
Even if you know not how or what to do
Be innerly still 
And wait
For the next moment to unfold.
Perhaps it will be bring new insight
However tiny and fragile,
Remembering that you are precious 
in every moment
And your presence matters
Even when you cannot see it clearly.
Hold on to hope.

When illness and pain are all consuming

When illness and pain are all consuming.

When illness and pain are all consuming, how do you cope? How can you make sense of such suffering?

I have endured indescribable, intolerable levels of suffering, beyond words and description, lasting decades, not just in the short term. This is no exaggeration. I have felt utterly broken by my experiences, so intense the physical pain. 

In such circumstances, I have found, myself, that the only possibility, is to simply be with it and in it, not to fight against it or be angry with it, for when it still remains, equally agonising, the distress is even greater that it has not diminished or retired completely. Sometimes, however horrendous it is, you may find, as I did, that there was no help, no effective pain killer, no understanding and the only way to live with it is to endure it, each moment at a time, whilst trying to find an inner place with which to survive it. Every ounce of limited energy must be channelled into coping, must, be given over to spiritual maintenance of the self.

In each moment or even each heartbeat between moments, it might be possible to seek or look for God with you, wherever you might feel Him, within your suffering. For He is not, as it might seem, altogether gone or somewhere else far away, but so closely, intimately present, though you still may not feel or know it, due to the intense reality of your pain.

As you cry it, so does He.

As you gasp in torment, so does He.

The Son feels your pain. He knows it totally. He holds you in His own pain,for He is wounded for all time.

The Father holds you so tenderly and gently, so lightly, yet still the pain may block out conscious awareness of His presence and His love for you. As you cry out, the Father must surely weep with you, knowing that you feel Him not, despite His all encompassing compassion for you.

The Spirit brings sustenance. The Spirit alights upon you, holding you in energy so vibrant it must surely heal you, yet still you may struggle.

There is a depth of suffering so deep that not everyone will ever know it or survive it. Yet when you find yourself in this seemingly hopeless, helpless place, it is only God who can sustain you. It is only God who can reach you. It is His Light, His Peace, not of the world, His Holy Heart of Love, which must be sought innerly, in order to endure.

And if you are fortunate and come through it, it is His Peace that transcends all pain, that can comfort and restore you or lift you into His Grace, forevermore.

Saturday, 25 April 2020

When we are fearful....

When we are fearful, we need to remember that:
Fear can limit you, through terrifying thoughts and beliefs. 
Fear can be overwhelming and incapacitating. 
Fear can block true sight and clear direction.
Fear is alienating from God’s love.
Fear can misdirect you or lead you to inaction.
Fear is not the truth.
Fear is the opposite of love and leads you away from love.
Fear distracts.
Fear makes you feel unsafe.
Fear may tell you false stories.

Let not fear blind you to truth.
Let not fear block you from love.
Let not fear overwhelm you.
Let fear not inhibit you from right action.
Let fear not persecute you.
Let fear not torment you.
Let fear not misguide you.

Turn to the Lord when fear strikes at you and ask for His help. 
Focus all your attention on Love, especially the incredible, powerful love of the Trinity, the Holy Heart of Love.
Banish all fear in Jesus name, trusting it will diminish enough that you can think, feel and discern a right path for you.
Make the sign of the cross and feel its energy strengthen you.
Cling on to truth, not false imaginings..
Look for Light to guide you.
Trust in goodness to help you see clearly and balance right thought against any false judgment.
Remember God’s promise, ( Matthew 7) that if you ask, it will be given, if you search then you will find; if you knock then the door will be opened to you. 

So when you feel fearful and you ask for God’s aid, you can hope, trust and know that it will be given, even if it is not directly in the way you expect


Friday, 24 April 2020

When prayer is not so easy

Sometimes prayer feels easier than other times. Sometimes physical, emotional or spiritual pain, illness, upset, dismay, doubt, fear can get in the way of having a peaceful mind with which to feel, see, hear or sense that God is with us.

Yet this is perhaps the most needy time for prayer, because prayer can bring peace, hope, upliftment, comfort, light to a mind beleaguered by stresses, problems, worries and stuckness. 

So when I feel like this, if I can remember to be still a moment and centre myself in God’s energy, rather than my own pain-filled energy or the chaotic energy generated by the world, then I can find possibility of healing, grace, new perspective, inner calm or a new vision of an old or current difficulty or problem.

I can reach out and feel a greater connection, for in truth I am held in the Love of the Trinity, the awesome Heart of Love and one with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. How can that not bring new freedom from the tyranny of fear, the possibility of action from inaction and healing out of brokenness?

Wednesday, 22 April 2020

Infinitely large

IT IS SO EASY to get distracted by worries, doubts and fears. To think about what might happen. To think about so many other moments than the one I am in.
   Fear then can be magnified. Loss then can also be magnified. Frustration and anger can rise and overwhelm and destroy any peace that might be possible.
   I can worry about my health deteriorating. I can worry about dying. I can worry about so many serious possibilities. The fact that there is no one out there to help us work out what to do when my symptoms get worse, who understands my illness. I can worry about the financial situation and how we will cope, next week, next month, next year.
Yet in worrying about all the vast number of things that could go wrong, I am moving away from the peace, from the truth and the hope that is present right now.
   God brings his truth, His light, His hope, His love, His tenderness, into my present moment and it is here that I must learn to dwell. I must banish all fear in Jesus’ name and choose not to dwell in anxiety.
   When I focus on fear I lose the goodness of the moment. When I focus on God and faith and trust, He brings hope and blessings, possibilities and peace and all fear vanishes.
   It is so important to dwell in the present moment and here find that it is an infinite moment of love, where joy is possible and love is all.
   I am lifted then into the ever – present wonder of the Heart of Love, the Holy  and find that this moment is not small and insignificant but vast and full of the awesome wonder of God.
   From here I can touch the whole world with love. I can pray for souls and be connected all around the world. I can know that heaven is real and we are all held and loved and all those who have died are still with us, through the love of God.
   My world becomes infinitely large and I am blessed with the joy of knowing that I am held in the everlasting love of God and all things are possible because of His love.


Tuesday, 14 April 2020

When all is taken

When all is taken away suddenly and unexpectedly 
And emptiness feels like it will consume me 
Remind me of your Perfect Presence Lord
Fill me with your healing love
That cleanses, restores, renews, strengthens, 
Blesses me anew.

Today’s blessing

Bless each precious moment, 
may they each be filled 
with love 
and flow over 
with it’s abundance.

Monday, 13 April 2020

A contemplation on the Trinity

We take a moment in time to still our thoughts as we place ourselves in the Heart of Love, from where we find peace at the centre of our being.  We feel that peace radiating out from the Heart of Love, The Mighty Trinity, as it surrounds us and blesses us, touching and filling our own heart, so that there is a oneness that we too are embraced in - a wonderful unity. And we feel blessed and centred in the totality of everything that is love.  Amen

Sunday, 12 April 2020

A prayer for Mercy

A prayer for Mercy

May we feel held in Your great Mercy and Compassion Which pours endlessly out from the cross
Where you knew untold agonies in Your Passion Reaching out within and beyond space and time
To touch us in our own unique distress and pain. Only Your Love can save us
Only you can truly know
the fullness of our suffering
Bound intimately and infinitely with us Pouring out Your heart of Love
down all the years to reach us
to hold us
to heal us
to comfort us
to save us
May we receive the blessing of Your Gift right now
May we find healing and Hope
And a light that shines in the darkest hour.
May we be transformed by the Power of the Holy Spirit.
May we be transfigured as we look upon your beautiful face.
May we be renewed and strengthened by all that is good.
May we be brought to new Life in You.
May the flame of Light you ignite in us
Be a tiny spark reaching back to give you Hope
and certainty of knowledge
that we have seen
and we have heard
and we have received Your blessing
and been strengthened in our faith
by Your total sacrifice for us,
That in Your final hour upon the cross
You might have felt us touching you
as You touched us
in oneness and wonder
for all eternity.

Saturday, 11 April 2020

Easter Day - a Blessing

Easter Saturday

A poem I wrote as we wait for Easter Day and the life returned in splendor

John’s Hope

Heart of Love
Dying for the world
Reaching out to save
All I can do
is stand by you
an onlooker on the sport of death
All I can give
I do
My heart
in all its simplicity
lies with yours
All I can hope
is that it is
some small speck of comfort
some speck of light
in the gathering darkness
which obscures
the True reality of
Your Glory
You are not alone
We hold you in our tears
We stay with you beyond the end
hoping, praying, waiting
for the New beginning

What is a blessing?

Here is a new animation video on what is a Blessing.

Please see the new Blessing page for further writings and Blessings.

Friday, 10 April 2020

Why is the Cross so important?

Why is the cross so important?

The Cross is a pivotal moment in all time and space, when immanence and transcendence collide.

What is immanence and transcendence?

Immanence is life here and now, transcendence is life eternal. It is God with us here and God with us beyond time and space.

Why is it not possible to avoid the cross and its message?

To try and avoid, deny or ignore the cross is to misunderstand the meaning of Love and God’s presence through tremendous suffering. It is to not recognise or to misunderstand the possibility of Mercy that flows from this dire place and the promise of life beyond it.

Did Christ fail?

Some people say Christ failed in His mission? They see the cross as failure. 
I say no, Christ did not fail. He clearly states His path and His intention throughout the Gospels. It was a choice that he clearly made, with the intention of picking His life up again. He knew God’s plan. He repeatedly tells us, ‘Do not be afraid.’
This choice, He makes, is a point of Power, despite the horrendous agony to be endured. He wants us to know that there is a greater purpose than what is visible on the Cross.
Everything points to the Passion in the Gospel readings. Every story has a message in it, about what is coming, if only you have eyes to see and ears to hear, a heart to feel it.

Everything leads to the Cross.
Everything proceeds from the Cross.

What is Reconciliation, Healing and Mercy?

These three things - Reconciliation, Healing and Mercy work together from the Cross. They interweave. All our pain and suffering, hurt, injustice, wounding, is held in the Heart of Jesus Christ on the Cross, all pain felt by Him for all time. All is taken in upon Him, by Him, with God’s strength and Love invisibly holding Him. Instead of bitterness, anger, indignation, desire for revenge, Love is given back, Mercy is released into the whole world and its Healing becomes a possibility.

This is the revelation of the Heart of Love:
Christ on the Cross. 
The Father holding him in a circle of Love.
The Holy Spirit being released more fully into the world.

All Three working together in unison, spreading Mercy, Love, Forgiveness, Healing, Reconciliation for all that is wrong, bringing new life and hope: one Heart, Three Being in Oneness. The Heart of Love, pure, total, ever present, all encompassing healing Love.

Thursday, 9 April 2020

Holy Thursday - Poem about the cross - a personal experience

The Bleakest Place is the Cross, yet it is also the point of Hope and Mercy; 
Hope for living
Hope of dying
Hope of Life in Christ.

Mercy in living
Mercy in dying
Mercy from Christ Himself.

Here, suffering is intense, immense, unimaginable, horrific, unbearable, tortuous.

Life feels beyond possible when you meet this place. Pain, so exquisite in intensity that it is unbelievable that you can be alive to bear it.

And so I hang in the Bleakest Place
In the darkness of unutterable agony
In indescribable torment
For it to pass
Praying for it to end
Not knowing if this is death
Coming upon me.
I lie in absolute awareness
Of myself
Pure being
In a body
So agonised
It feels like the end.
And yet
The end does not come.
I repeat
I trust in you Lord
I trust in you.
I call out to God
Am I dying?
He says in a small still voice
It is not your time 
And so I cling on
To a purity
Of essence
Large and vast
In the centre
Of fear.
The pain is so loud
It drowns out
All other thought.
I am racked by the pain.
It burns me
Yet somehow
Through the centre
I am held
By God
By Love
By Hope
By Truth
By Mercy.
My time is not yet come.
I still have a purpose
And life
And Peace
And I arise
Like the Phoenix
And glorious
In splendour
Of knowing
The Light of God
Within me.
The voice of God
Has spoken.
I have more 
To give
In service.
This gift is precious
And unquantifiable
I still live
I am washed clean
By a baptism of pain
Beyond description
Only peace remains.

I know the cross.
It is true.
I lie with Christ
Upon the cross
And I am consumed
By pain
And agony beyond 
Yet somehow
I am touched
By God Himself
And find
The cross
All that
Is good.
And life 
Is utterly
Pure being
Pure presence.
In it’s
And only
Who I am

Monday, 6 April 2020

Come Holy Spirit, In every moment be with me.

Come Holy Spirit,
In every moment be with me.
Come Holy Spirit, come


When we call upon the Spirit and immerse ourselves in the Holy Trinity, we find that God is always present, always accessible and cares for us in absolute abundance. 

His presence is real, alive, with us!

If we immerse ourselves in prayer, we can discover that there are so many ways to pray, that we can always be prayerful and feel linked, connected, one, with God, no matter what we are doing.
When our need is absolute His response is total. He never abandons us, though we may not always feel Him,  if our suffering is intense, yet still we can trust, as we learn more about the Trinity and the Heart of Love that blesses the Universe, that God is truly with us and never leaves us .
The Spirit enlightens, blesses, strengthens, heals, helps, lifts and guides us, bringing us messages of hope, truth and strength. What more can we ever need?

Come Holy Spirit Burn in me with a Passion to know God totally

Come Holy Spirit
Burn in me with a Passion to know God totally

The more we come to know God, the more we want to learn and know, to immerse ourselves in the wonder of knowing God. 

When you come to know the Father, you find yourself also coming to know the Son. When you know the Father and the Son, you cannot be unaware of the infinite wonder of the Holy Spirit, for all Three are One. 

The Oneness, is whole and complete, the purity of Love between the Three is perfectly expressed, harmonious, total. 

As you come to learn about Oneness, so you discover that incredibly, we too are held in that oneness through Christs Passion, Resurrection and Ascension. This is such a humbling, stunning insight that it must surely take a life time to even begin to process its meaning and live more fully in that awareness.

When you come to this realisation you can then chose to embark on an even closer relationship with God. We call this living in the Heart of Love, journeying on the Holyway.


  Lord,  When I feel desperate, Console me. Fill me with Your inner Peace Not of the world. Amen