I am here- a poem

 

I am in the bitter lands 

Everything here bites me

The sound breaks me open

The light burns me

The movement destroys understanding

Leaving me disoriented and blank

Here I am washed out and emptied

There is no feeling here

Except pain and empty numb being

I am lost again in the twisted ground of paralysis

My body is totally sucked out into nothingness

My sense of myself is lost too

My emotions ride a tsunami

My mind has lost its direction

My body has lost its boundaries

As awareness floats away

And I feel like a swollen melon

Nothing works

Everything feels sick

And I am stuck on the outside

And dissipated on the inside

Waiting for something inexplicable to unpredictably shift

And restore some semblance of movement

And life

Once more.

How can love live in this space, I ask

And yet I hear love answer,

“ I am here with you.”