The one thing I hold on to, even though I may feel like despairing, like everything is hopeless and the way through a difficult moment or situation is hidden or feels completely out of reach, is prayer.
Prayer may be desperate. It may be spoken in agony. It even be uttered in doubt. It may be whispered or shouted, angry, hurt or hopeful. Whatever the circumstance and however dire things seem, it is my experience through 27 years of continuous, profound suffering, that prayer will bring comfort and a spark of light, no matter how tiny, can be ignited in your heart and mind once more. For Christ has said He will be with us till the end of time. He has said before Abraham ever was, I am. What a powerful, awesome affirmation of his constancy and His presence with us.
And so I cry out, deep in the night, in the pain of paralysis, in the desolation fear can wreak upon me and I find His Light is there, ever gentle, ever strong, ever true.
When I pray for myself, I know, deep down that He hears me., that something will shift, that hope will reignite, that comfort or consolation will somehow come, that I will get through the most desolate of moments.
When I pray for others, I feel the Power of the Holy Spirit flowing through me. The prayer is tangible, real, light-filled, strengthening. I know it is heard and that somehow that energy of caring has touched them. We can never know what will happen, how prayer will be answered, yet my sense of His presence gives me confidence that His Light has entered the situation.
When I pray with my husband, I have confidence in the promise God spoke: when two or three are gathered together, He is with us. Together we reach out in love through prayer to touch the whole world, we listen for His Word, we hear Him speak in our hearts and are reassured of His Way, immersed in the Love of the Trinity.