Hope

 THE ONGOING AGONY OF this never-ending illness is relentless.

And Hope? Where is hope? And where am I in this nothingness of illness?

Hope must be something more than hope in a specific thing. It must fly over the disappointment of expectations and hold fast to something bigger, as individual daily hopes of better moments are individually dashed and shattered.

I cannot hope that I will be well in any specific form or time or place. I can only hope in the goodness of God, the peace beyond endurance that He gives, if only we dare to look, dare to ask, dare to seek for.

For God does not abandon, therefore Hope must be greater than all misery and suffering. It must be borne of greater stuff than humanity. It can only come from the Divinity of Love.

This then is where I must place myself now.