A prayer for struggling moments

Lord, when we are struggling 

with difficult issues, 

complex situations,  

ill health, 

grief, loss and pain

Draw near to us that we may feel Your comfort

Help us feel Your loving presence close by and know that we are held in the Heart of Love

Where Joy is complete and miracles abound.

Let us lift up our eyes and see your light shining as a beacon of Hope before us.

Show us how you can and will save us.

Amen

Limits

Here I am learning about limits. I am learning about grief. I am learning about emotional survival. Here I cling on, feeling far out of reach, on a vicious distant edge, that few, if any, care to know about.

There is no one to comfort or guide you.

Suffering reeks of despair. It feels endless and hopeless. It is painful beyond description.

Yet there is a pathway you must keep finding through it, in order to find meaning and restore hope. Otherwise the suffering will consume you - initially, if not long term - unless you can find a way to see all, including loss and grief, as a path and somehow find crucial self-support .

Then you can find that it is possible to face your situation with dignity, you can find meaning and purpose, even in the most awful, indescribable circumstances and desolation even.

(Adapted from "More Notes For Carers" https://stonebird.co.uk/morenotes/index.html)

Breathing

Breathing is such a natural part of life that the well person would not necessarily notice that they were doing it.

For the severely ill person breathing is not that simple. Breathing can be a daily struggle; nothing , in this situation, can be taken for granted.

The carer too struggles for breath, to breathe life into the day, to find new pathways, to keep hope alive. To face each impossible challenge.

Almost inevitably we find ourselves knocked down time and again, and, in that moment, all feels lost. It’s a terrible place to be.

The miracle is that time and time again we find the courage to pick our shattered selves up and, no matter what, make the choice to live our life.

Living in severe pain

Time passes strangely here. It is slow, silent, flat, even empty often and yet at the same time, seemingly endless, but of course, this is an illusion. Pain makes the moment you are caught in, a terrible terrible place of unending agony. You know not how long it will torture you, nor how long you can bear it and yet bear it you must, on and on and on...You learn to live in its burning, throbbing, screaming grasp. You long for it to ease, to lessen, to cease to dominate your whole being. You beg for it to be taken from you. You pray it will not hurt you beyond your capability.

Linda Crowhurst

An Anniversary

An Anniversary is a very special day, whether it is to celebrate a marriage, a special occasion or a persons life. It is an opportunity to immerse ourselves in the love of God and give thanks and praise for every blessing received. It can connect us with joy, peace, hope, truth, love, that may have become lost from sight through grief, stress, bereavement, pain and the busyness of living. 

It is good to take time to be still with God and rejoice in His Love holding us all always. Amen

Only 4 %

 

UNSUPPORTED and UNRECOGNISED

The vast majority of carers here in the U.K., are at breaking point, are struggling with “very bad mental health problems”, are feeling hopeless, despairing, tearful, even suicidal, according to the latest Carers UK Report, please see below.

As if we didn’t know that.

Unsupported, unrecognised , they struggle to carry on.

Same old, same old.

Every single year that I have been a full time Carer, that’s thirty now, a very similar “State of Caring” report is released. Not one has made a difference to my life, as far as I know.

Pay carers at least the minimum wage, provide truly independent support and counselling , maybe find a way to tap into the wisdom and insights us older, long term careers have gained, to help others navigate their way through, offer opportunities for lifelong learning and development, this is absolutely vital, give us all the equipment we need……….everyone knows what is needed.

But no one ever does anything about it. Apart from write reports it seems. And either patronise or clientise us.

I have been forced to live in poverty on less than £1.00 an hour, I have been forced to seek out financial grants and charity just to pay for basics.

Our faith has helped us survive. One of the most noticeable statistics about this Report, for me, is how few carers faith organisations are reaching, barely 4%. Our Church does not reach out to us.

Incredibly, despite everything the carers in this report are determined to carry on.

Me too.

Good thing, for without us the Health, Social and Economic system would collapse. We are the unknown support holding the whole thing together.

I choose to be with my wife, I choose to help her, as she helps me, far more, I choose to live in the power of our marriage, in the power of love. I choose, every day to step up, to be present, to keep growing and learning, to find meaning and hope, I choose to touch the joy and indescribable fulfilment found in stillness and being. I choose to do all I can can to be present to bring life in every moment, I humbly accept that I have such a long way to go yet.

What an extraordinary privilege that is.

https://www.carersuk.org/policy-and-research/state-of-caring-survey/?utm_source=Carers%20UK&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=14193156_State%20of%20Caring%20Health%20Report%20-%20Campaigners&dm_i=74C,8G7IC,PERSF,YWLXM,1