Skip to main content

The Outsider

I have a strong sense of being an outsider, even though we live in a holy place, a place of ancient pilgrimage, even though there is a church opposite, even though we are surrounded by religious communities, these are all completely inaccessible to my wife.
I rarely go to church.
As a consequence, we, who have lived here many years, are not known. I sat in the car, last evening, across the street, seeing how the neighbours genuinely care for each other, little acts of kindness.
We are not ignored, rather life goes on around us, without us. I can’t remember the last time anyone enquired about my wife, so desperately, screamingly ill, so acutely, politically, medically, socially oppressed.
How strange the pretence that a suffering woman in their midst does not exist, here in this staunchly church going, Christian community. There is just a feeling , I experience of being judged, somehow.
The  Epiphany is all about the outsider, who dares to follow a star. Those who knew the truth, were not part of the religious establishment.
Our isolation here, in this holy place, raises questions , in my mind, about what it means to be a Christian. All I know is that just the other night I opened the back door and gasped in wonder at the moon and Venus, shining just above our cottage in extraordinary unity.
How wonderful !
My wife has taught me a great deal about God, who is so deeply present with Linda, that my life cannot help but be suffused with awe and wonder, for which I could cry, I am so grateful.
What treasures our local church is missing out on.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

We Are Showered With Gifts

As we enter into dialogue with Christ in prayer so we come to know the truth of his mission and his meaning, for we are showered with gifts, gifts of healing, so necessary for those who have incurable disease, the gift of hope so very precious to the hopeless, the gift of love, which sparkles even in the bleakest moments, the gift of mercy both for ourselves and each other, we grow in understanding and our confidence builds in the love of God here with us, keeping us safe and coming to our aid at every turn life.
For his meaning was and ever shall be love without end. Ame

No Words

Her pain is terrible today, her tears a fire, it is impossible to see the soft summer morning’s beauty, the gentle shadows, such is her agony. Another day lost. I have run out of words to pray.

We Hold Onto Love At The Centre

All is stripped away from us by the circumstances and experience of this illness.
The love, the open-heart of the carer for the beloved is a wound that brings forth the greatest compassion and untold wisdom in the world of suffering. It brings clear sight of injustice and calls for the need for Truth and Integrity on the path ahead.
The sufferer too lies pinioned in pain on the Cross with Christ. Each throb of pain is an onslaught and a torture.
Each moment of inability, of incapacitating paralysis, breathlessness, is a moment of shared anguish with the Lord.
Each second of spreading numbness, pushes the sufferer further away from the world . Each exquisite level of torture played out on the person with Severe ME is a part of the suffering Christ on the Cross. There is no separation from the hurt of the world, for the Lord, the carer, the sufferer, all are bound in agony by their experience and by their love for each other.
God loves us. Of this be certain. God knows all our pain. Of this …