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Showing posts from October, 2018

On praying and the Our Father

On praying  and the Our Father
And I saw in the praying of the prayer that it was not just my prayer, in that moment, but that prayer, prayed in all moments, adding together and cascading over to reach God’s ear; the sum total of all the times the prayer has ever been prayed, the words spoken, uttered in reverance, proclaimed, beseechingly, genuinely, hopefully, desperately, totally, as if following some sacred holy path that leads ever up the mountain to the summit.  And each time you pray that prayer you arrive at that summit of the prayer, which connects you to God, yet each further time you pray that prayer, the pinnacle is higher, closer, larger, somehow even more pure, swathed in beauty, in power, in spiritual richness. Each word a glistening jewel that reaches out from you and sparkles in God’s mind.  The power of that prayer is awesome, immense, vast and incomprehensible, because it holds the power of every word ever spoken, by every single person who has spoken it, till it becom…

Let us pray

Let us pray a prayer of healing for ourselves or anyone else that may be in need: Lord in your mercy
Tenderly heal me.
Lord fill me with your holy Peace
Not of this world.
Lord bless me
With your healing presence.
Restore me now to full health.
Lord strengthen me
With the Power of Your Spirit.
Ease the burdens that I carry.
Lord comfort me
With Your Tender heart.
Release me from all pain.
Lord console me
With the truth of Your love.
May all Mercy be received.

You are Valuable


Shot in the heart, by the USA backed military, during El Salvador's civil war, Oscar Romero's martyrdom in 1980 has had an enormous influence upon my life.

Here he is, very much echoing what we say on Stonebird about how precious you are and how your presence matters, even if you cannot do anything, move, communicate or think :

"The transcendence that the church preaches is not alienation; it is not going to heaven to think about eternal life and forget about the problems on earth. It’s a transcendence from the human heart. It is entering into the reality of a child, of the poor,of those wearing rags, of the sick, of a hovel,of a shack. It is going to share with them. And from the very heart of misery, of this situation, to transcend it, to elevate it, to promote it, and to say to them, “You aren’t trash. You aren’t marginalized.” It is to say exactly the opposite, “You are valuable.”

Oscar Romero 

For more …

Come into the hurting places

Come into the hurting places .... if you will. 
Come gently ...into the hurting places of my body. Bless them.............. if you will, Tenderly heal them if you will.
Come now into the hurting places of my heart. Release the many unshed tears....... if you will. Fill my vulnerability with your strength .......... if you will.
Come gently now into the hurting places of my mind. Touch each painful memory with love .......... if you will Lift my thoughts to higher places if you will.
Come now gently into the hurting places of my soul. Let your light pour into me ... if you will. Give me gifts of your spirit ....if you will. 
Come into all the hurting places ........if you will  and make me whole.
by Linda Crowhurst. 2000.

The Spirit is with me

When I am confused or lost and don’t know which path to take, I wait upon the Lord and find the Spirit is with me. He will bless me. He will guide me. He will always lead me in a path of love.  For  I am wild as the wind and can trust that the breath of life lives in me and will lead me safely on, held forever n the Heart of Love - the total love of the Trinity.

The Lord guides my feet

The  Spirit guides me. I follow. I flow. I dance, I trust. I do not know the path but the Lord knows the rhythm and guides my feet. All is blessed here on this holy ground I tread upon, with His love ever present, His Spirit shining for me, showing me the way to go.

A Call to the Holy Spirit

The Spirit is freedom, the Spirit is movement, the Spirit is awesome power of Love in action. You 
can feel the presence of the Spirit. It tastes and feels good. Therefore pray in confidence to the Spirit. Pray in His Holy name and know that miracles abound.

A Call to the Holy Spirit
Come Holy Spirit,  Anoint me with your Love Come Holy Spirit,  Reside in me in Power and Tenderness Come Holy Spirit,  Inspire me with Truth Come Holy Spirit, come Come Holy Spirit, Give me a Thirst for Justice and Righteousness, Come, Holy Spirit,  Shower me with Your gifts today Come Holy Spirit, Lead me and guide me on a path of Light and Truth Come Holy Spirit, come Come Holy Spirit  Help me speak truly and fairly Come Holy Spirit  Shield and Protect me from harm Come Holy Spirit  Bring miracles of healing with you Come Holy Spirit, come Come Holy Spirit,

Calling you home.

I learned all I know about joy, bliss, excitement, daring, wildness from the flowers. In the beginning the days of stories and adventures, there was  the lavender and me and the sunshine and  the grass smelling of blankets and daisies and roses and fairy tales.

Hedges, high ancient walls, Autumn leaves, trees , rivers and ponds to contemplate,jam jars to fill.

Always the clouds. Why did I look up so much I wonder?

They called it “God”.

And told me He was in a box inside the Church.

As if I had done something wrong then, I tried to please. Him.

That was impossible!

More than sixty years passed, before I knew that.

He is not in the box; the box the Church, the garden, the adventures, the tabpoles, the clouds, me and you are enraptured by Him as He is enraptured by Them and They are enraptured by Us.

The flowers teach you this, when you are very young and when you are very old , if you are lucky you listen again to them.

Calling you home.

When There Are No Words

When there are no words in my head,
No thoughts in my mind , no idea of what can help me now,
May I turn to you Lord, in loving confidence
Trusting that you will come to my aid
And know exactly what I need to get me through
Even the most challenging of moments. Amen

Let Us Not Limit Our Request For Blessings

Oh Heart of Love, oh Mighty Trinity
Bless our lives in unimagined ways.
‘ LET US NOT LIMIT OUR REQUEST FOR BLESSINGS ’ What is a blessing if not an unimagined gift, something new, vibrant, alive, special, bringing hope, comfort, joy, strength: a renewing of the day by means of an unexpected moment of goodness that can lift and transfigure your life, change perception, bring new clarity, help to see a different view, give strength of purpose, shine light in a dark tunnel, receive an unexpected present, accept a kind word rightly timed, be touched by a miracle of healing, find a saving from distress, gain help in the bearing of intractable pain. A blessing has myriad forms and is perfect for the receiver, each individual has their own special need and we can trust that any blessing given by God will be just right for that person, in that moment, in that way. For such is the intimacy of relationship with God and such the span of love and awareness of the Holy Three, that each blessing will…
These two hands, have been through 25 years of hell, but have never let go of reaching out. Stonebird is how we have fought back. Holy Way is how we have survived. We have learned a great deal about the power of love, in an impossible situation, one of unbearable, never-ending agony and inability. That is the learning we share in our new book : Living in the Heart of Love.

What is Prayer?

MY HEAD IS COMPRESSED by the illness. All thought is an effort against the crushing pressure of nothingness that oppresses my mind where thought and aliveness, light and brilliance should be.
My body thumps its painful rhythm in time with my heartbeat, truly I struggle in these moments. I seek God innerly in the gloom. I look with inner vision through the heavy fog for the golden glow of His Love. I feel that golden light, His Presence, gently holding me. My heart is golden yet with warm feelings to dispel the outward chill of numbness, paralysis, pain.
What then is prayer in this place of no thought? A few stumbling words perhaps. Yet still above, beyond, within this tormenting existence is His Presence, alive with beauty and oneness. This then is my prayer.
The wonder of His Being, present in all of me, radiating holiness, despite the physical suffering. Let me feel you oh Lord. Amen

Living On The Edge

THOSE WHO LIVE ON the edge, those who suffer without end, those who experience profound persecution, abuse, oppression, discrimination, those who hang, stripped naked on a Cross, do not find it easy, sometimes, to think clearly, systematically about what to do, if anything. When you are nailed to the wood, the suffering is intense.
In such circumstances, it is hard to face our own nakedness, our inadequacy of response, our weakness, our fragility, our own helplessness in the face of injustice. WE MIGHT WRITE. “WE ARE THINKING OF YOU”, “LOVE AND HUGS”, SAY A QUICK PRAYER, BUT IS THAT WHAT YOU SAY TO SOMEONE BEING CRUCIFIED ON A CROSS OF UNIMAGINABLE PAIN? It is hard to find words that can meet the need and what difference can we make, if any? We have to ask ourselves, how can we truly be present in the face of grief and outrage? Jesus once said that he had come to light a fire; how he wished it was burning. (Lk 12:49) What kind of fire burns in my heart: is it a pleasant-enough warmth o…

No Words

Her pain is terrible today, her tears a fire, it is impossible to see the soft summer morning’s beauty, the gentle shadows, such is her agony. Another day lost. I have run out of words to pray.

We Hold Onto Love At The Centre

All is stripped away from us by the circumstances and experience of this illness.
The love, the open-heart of the carer for the beloved is a wound that brings forth the greatest compassion and untold wisdom in the world of suffering. It brings clear sight of injustice and calls for the need for Truth and Integrity on the path ahead.
The sufferer too lies pinioned in pain on the Cross with Christ. Each throb of pain is an onslaught and a torture.
Each moment of inability, of incapacitating paralysis, breathlessness, is a moment of shared anguish with the Lord.
Each second of spreading numbness, pushes the sufferer further away from the world . Each exquisite level of torture played out on the person with Severe ME is a part of the suffering Christ on the Cross. There is no separation from the hurt of the world, for the Lord, the carer, the sufferer, all are bound in agony by their experience and by their love for each other.
God loves us. Of this be certain. God knows all our pain. Of this …

How Much We Need Hope

A life without hope is a desperate, oppressive place to be, with little meaning or direction. When things go well, hope flies high, yet when things go badly, hope can disappear amongst the jangling discordant chaos that ensues. This then is the time to seek hope, to hold on to any seed of goodness within or without you that might bless and alter the dismal, bleak and crushing suffering that can destroy it or cover it over so deep it seems lost. This then, is where we need God’s aid – for when we can find no hope of our own volition and despair looms too large to block it out, here then the Lord can save us by filling us with His hope. Hope that brings light, truth, strength, wisdom, comfort; hope that is all powerful, a saving grace from all three, Father, Son and Holy Spirit bringing not only hope but proactive hope carried on the wings of the Spirit, to bring change to the most desperate of moments, for hope is Love in action, come to unite us with all that is good. May it pour out …

True Suffering

True suffering is unrelievable. If there are choices that can save you, look for them and make them, God will always help you.
But if not, then throw yourself on God’s mercy and His love, immerse yourself in the Heart of love and there place your awareness, that the suffering you are forced to endure, which may be or become totally intolerable, unbearable, tormenting, tortuous, deeply disturbing, not destroy or despair you. Here you find God’s grace, touching you in the formless void of inexpressible agony. For only One who has suffered depths of indescribable, annihilating torment, yet been sustained by love and remained loving still in His heart, can reach out to you and touch you and bless you in that moment that you most need it, whether through the caring of others or through the grain of hope that remains or is found in the depths of emptiness, whether the means to keep going on, in intractable pain, is miraculously present, whether kindness unexpected blesses your life and help…

Resurrection and Suffering

What does Easter-time mean when the one you love faces yet another day of screamingly awful, unimaginable physical torment ? What, exactly, is there to celebrate, all the time she hangs, nailed, in agony, to a cross of gross medical, social and political neglect and denial, lies, manipulation and deceit, spanning decades ? What does resurrection mean, in this place of no prayer, of no thought, of naked,  by the moments in between pain and hours by the restless shifting into ever more extreme levels of suffering ?stripped to the bone, nerve-throbbing-being, where minutes are measured You might think I am crazy. But on my bike yesterday, Easter day, battling through a strong, cold headwind, I fancied I heard a patch of bright yellow dandelions, singing their hearts out ! Then a pair of black and white gulls, I am no bird expert, darted right across me, I felt their joy. Another bird soared up high where the clouds hung ragged and broken. A song was born in me. What was it Jesus said  on…

Here Is Church

The spread in the Guardian was a dramatic 360 degree view of St Peter’s Basilica, Rome, hundreds of priests, Pope Francis leading a splendid, in every sense of the term, Holy Thursday service.  I was captivated by the amazing photo. It awoke fond memories of Church. But something in that Holy of Holies was out of place. Then I saw it, right in the foreground the priest with his mobile phone , held up up high , filming or taking a picture, or searching for a signal, I don’t know. But it was sad. It made me think of Linda and how she might be if she could be there. But she can never go to a Church, never mind Rome. Her world is a cast-off, battered, old settee and the one room. But when she prays, when she speaks of her encounter with God in suffering, it feels like the holiest place anywhere. There is enormous stillness , intimate presence, the space between us suffused with the golden radiance in her deep brown eyes and the power of truth, spirit, knowledge and light sparkling there. H…

Tend Your Life

Take a moment to be still.Calm your thoughts.
Look innerly toward God.
Ask the Holy Spirit to come and be with you, to transform your life, this day and always
Feel the Father holding you gently, encouraging you to open to His Loving presence.
See the face of Christ before you, looking at you with such compassion.
And share with them all, in whichever way you can, whatever burdens you are carrying, right now, however small or large or seemingly impossibly huge.
Stop and give yourself the space to do that. If you feel that you need forgiveness, ask.
If you feel that you need comfort, it will be given.
If you feel you need help, name it.
If you feel you need love, open and receive it.
If you feel you need healing, claim it. Know that the awesome Power of the Trinity is with you and will help you.
Each one brings a unique gift to you.
They will hold you in the Very Heart of Love where all mercy flows and love is complete. They will see your need, even if you cannot articulate it fully and they wil…